Annus Mirabilis 2014

I was a Primary 3 pupil when the Queen of England admitted year 1992 as Her Majesty's annus horribilis. To the 9 year old me, it seemed very strange that the lady who breathes epitome of Queen's English, had somehow peppered her speech with a foreign sounding term.  Although I eventually learnt it was Latin for 'a horrible year', it took 21 years before I myself  proclaimed 2013 as my annus horribilis.

 

2013 was expected to be a year like any other. Where 12 months of routine and insignificance will pass before first of January re-appears like a fine-tuned clockwork. What I didn't expect was for 2013 to be a year of tremendous change for me. The years of pent-up frustration and work-related stress, calculated suppression of emotional outbursts, constant grappling with what I see as personal failures and a steady inward spiral into depression were bent on throwing a huge party. To which I was the host but not invited.

 

Despite the smiles I could muster as a front, it did nothing to calm my inner being. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. Writing and speaking out are my strongholds but yet, words can't be found to describe the hell I was going through. Even with family members and friends, part of it was my pride that I will always be there for them and their troubles. The idea that I need their help was to me, a point of personal weakness. I have to always, always, always be in control. The fact that I knew I was losing control materialised in many ways. Some were more visible to the world, some were only mine to see. My pillow was inevitably dampened by silent tears. Sleep was only a brief respite as the eyes became trained to stare into darkness. Dreams were fleeting, too far and few in between. And yet, the alarm clock would faithfully ring its head to usher in a new morning. I would get up from the bed and trudged into the world thinking 'Today's just another day'. 

 

I knew I was hitting rock-bottom and dropping further. It doesn't help when I needed some space, and I got those 'you're spiritually lacking' poison to the ears instead. For the sages out there, you wouldn't know how close one is to his or her God or the extent of an individual's battle with their personal demons. In moments like these, one needs comforting words to clear their thoughts. Don't preach to those who are already eyeing that strand of rope and wonder whether it's strong enough to hang. Your words may just be the final push for them to jump from some rooftop, if only to escape from your well-meaning intentions.  

 

From those thoughts, I felt I have to make a change. That was how I took a considerable period of unpaid leave and embarked on a month-long European trip. My first solo trip, the first tick on my bucket list. The trip had its moments of fright but deliriously liberating all the same. I've written on this before (check out Recollections from a crazy journey) but clearly, you wouldn't know earlier how it was really fuelled by desperation. I returned home (in one piece, thank God) and changed jobs soon after. The decision meant uprooting myself from Kuala Lumpur to Penang but I took it in my stride. And it's here in Penang that I'm spending the last few hours of 2013 before we usher in 2014.

 

I don't know about you but tonight, I'll be having dinner with a few good friends in some restaurant in Straits Quay. Others may wish for far greater dreams in the year to come. I just want to enjoy the present and silently hoping (and praying) that 2014 be my annus mirabilis! With the Leessang first showcase in Malaysia in January and the My Fair Lady musical in February, it's starting to look like a wonderful year ahead (and possibly the start of many more exciting years to come!).

 

Have a blessed Happy New Year! Don't drink and drive. Just dance the night away :)

 

Do you want to build a snowman?

Today is 11.12.13, a day that only happens once every hundred years. It's also supposedly a good day to get married. I should know, my personal e-mail has been flooded with such messages from astrology websites. Reading each friendly e-mail only reminds me that where I'm concerned, it's not really about finding a day to say 'I do'. It's more of finding Mr. Right For Me, a gargantuan task that no man has survived. A miracle that well-meaning (and admittedly, nosey) friends and relatives are hoping to witness in this lifetime.

 

 

But then again, isn't Christmas a season of miracles? Perhaps. That's the only plausible explanation for me to have watched Disney's Frozen last night. My sister was thoroughly gobsmacked to discover that for the first time in our lives, I've actually watched an animated movie before her! She went further to pronounce that the world must be coming to an end. Well okay, that's not a miracle we're hoping for in the near future. Yet, I can't say I regretted my impromptu choice. And given that I don't really do well around kids (my sisters call it as 'natural aversion'), the fact that I enjoyed the movie very much despite a jam-packed hall of kids are miracles worth mentioning.

 

 

Frozen is Disney's fantastic take on Hans Christian Andersen's 'The Snow Queen'. After scaring generations of children with tales of the wicked Queen, the world finally learns this Christmas that behind the icy walls and beyond wintery chills, the Queen was just a terrified elder sister. One who is blessed or cursed with the gift of creating ice, frost & snow by the touch of her hands. She almost accidentally killed her younger sister when they were younger and in a bid to protect her loved ones, chose to isolate herself. There was the Disney brand of romance, of course, but the main highlight of the movie remained outstandingly the bond between Elsa & Anna. While Elsa was forced to remain distant and over time, became used to the idea of living alone, Anna can't fathom the sudden estrangement and attempts to reach out to her sister with the help of Kristoff, Sven the reindeer and Olaf, the snowman. Consciously aware that this is a Disney animation after all, I didn't think there would be emotional attachment to the characters. Somehow, my heart didn't think so and aggravated by the moving songs throughout the movie (it's just so good, I don't have a favourite. I liked them all!), the eyes did become watery at times. My only relief was that a young mother seated next to me had it worst. The suppressed sniffles were definitely not flu-related!

 

Although Kristoff was necessary as the sort-of Prince Charming who rescues Anna and Prince Hans was the charmingly insidious villain, the (snow)man of the hour has to be Olaf! His lines were just a pure mixture of innocent fun and rib-tickling sarcasm, with some even downright cheesy. If a human guy says that 'some people are worth melting for' to my face, I would probably raise both eyebrows and walk away. When Olaf said those words as he comforted Anna by the fireplace, I couldn't help but feel endeared. The cheesiness became a true reflection of how much he was prepared to sacrifice, only for him to add in a matter of seconds (and him desperately clinging to his melting face) that just ... maybe not right this second. So how can anyone not love Olaf??? I know I'm in love.

 

 

Watch Frozen if you've not done so. It's a fitting welcome for Christmas and if some of us have not the experience of building a snowman before, I can tell you this. It zaps your energy and takes up time for a snowman to appear. And when it does, at that precise magical moment, you'll forget the tiredness and will always remember the snowman, even when it melts as spring beckons. Like family, it'll remain in a special corner of your heart, as one of the fondest memories. So, do you want to build a snowman?

Senseless loss of heritage

Where real property is concerned, it’s an oft-quoted joke that the three most important factors to be considered are ‘location, location, location’. That joke is now a tragic end to a pre-historic remains of a 1200 years-old Sri Vijayan Hindu temple (known as Candi No. 11) in Sungei Batu area of Bujang Valley. Boasting a sprawling area of hundreds of acres, Bujang Valley is arguably Malaysia’s richest archaeological site and world-renowned for the preserved cultural remnants of ancient Buddhism and Hinduism as well as representing the beginning of early Malay civilisation. What is now left of the Candi’s immense historical value and significance, given its birth before the 13th century, is a piece of cleared land for a housing project.

 

 

The temple’s disappearance was discovered and brought to public attention by Datuk V. Nadarajan, a researcher on Bujang Valley history and recently confirmed by Penang’s Deputy Chief Minister II, Prof. P. Ramasamy, who had earlier researched on the Chola presence in Bujang Valley. Such destruction could have been avoided if the Merbok Land Office had monitored and notified the developer of the existence of this historical structure. Not only was this not done, the developer was also given the green-light to proceed with clearance of the site! One may argue that the developer's ignorance is not to be faulted when the supervisory powers of our Ministry seemed to have failed spectacularly.

 

 

Yet, it is undoubted that the sheer negligence involved has resulted in a senseless loss of heritage. It is a black mark for Malaysia, especially when other countries are part of a global effort to safeguard historical treasures for future generations. Against a backdrop of worthless rubble and bygone eras, we must realise that saving ancient historical monuments like those in Bujang Valley as well as other areas in Malaysia is a solemn duty imposed on all Malaysians. Similarly, the Federal Government must have the political will to act and punish those who destroy or abet in destroying our country’s rich historical tapestry. Regrets, apologies and even promises to rebuild are unacceptable for a lost piece of history. Even if the Candi was rebuilt in the 1970's using original materials as reported, we can't simply be satisfied in building another Candi (with new materials to boot!) on the original site. The debate has never been about building a new shopping complex to replace the old. The anger lies with the blatant disrespect towards our shared history, albeit historical monuments. If the relevant bodies are not held accountable for this debacle, a sequel to ‘The Lost World of Bujang Valley’ would be most unsurprising.

 

I am now living in a state which boasts of UNESCO World Heritage sites. While the island may be jam-packed with tourists during weekends, everyone clamouring to visit these protected areas, I do feel a sense of pride that there are heritage areas in Malaysia after all. Just as I travel overseas and chase after foreign historical monuments, I fully understand the breath-taking awe which overwhelms guests to my island. Every right thinking citizen of the world would realise that what we call as heritage including monuments and historical places are 'presents' from the earlier generations. And what we deem as our present is really our gifts over time to our younger generations. Although I welcome the Kedah State Government’s issuance of a stop work order against the developer, it remains a fact that a historical monument has been destroyed. Hence, measures must be taken to ascertain the offence(s) and prosecute the offenders.

 

 

The Kedah State Government should use this unfortunate episode to galvanise its efforts to preserve their remaining historical structures and artifacts. The Ministry of Tourism and Culture, particularly the Ministry’s Department of Heritage should also take immediate steps to list Bujang Valley as a UNESCO Heritage Site. By the way, I don't see a point of sending delegations overseas to promote Malaysia when there is little or nothing to be promoted about. We don't need another shopping mall, everyone has one. But how many visitors can proclaim that they have a monument they're proud of? I am not an architect by training. Yet, I could, and so should you, appreciate Frank Gehry’s observation that - 

‘in the end, the character of a civilization is encased in its structures’.