10 (things I liked) and 10 (things I despised) for the year that was

With Christmas songs now being heard regularly on the airwaves and Prosperity burgers returning for yet another stomach-full reunion, it could only mean one thing. 2010 is coming to an end. Sniff, sniff. I thought it was just yesterday when I blogged about ‘Hits and Misses of 2009’ to welcome 2010. To discover that I will welcome 2011 within a couple of days is downright shocking and one that makes me wonder.

What happened to 2010?

This time around, I’ve decided to write about the 10 things I felt made 2010 a great year (and if God is listening, I’ve totally no complaints if some of them appear in 2011 as well. Thank you, God) as well as the 10 things which 2010 could have done without. These 20 items are mostly on a personal level so bear with me as I recap my life of the past 12 months into a few lines of words. Let’s begin the countdown now. Ready? Go!

What I liked about 2010 was (in random order without regard to its importance, lest I offend parties) …

1. my Australian family trip to Launceston, Tasmania. I’ve blogged about this before in ‘Going Lonnie’ with extensive pictures so I need not rehash the same old stories. But if I could describe it in one word, it is this - superb. I could definitely foresee another (could be more than one) trip to Lonnie to celebrate Syazwina’s graduation, God willing. She’s graduating in year 2011 and that’s next year! Hurray.

2. my sisters’ return to Malaysia during their vacation breaks. Syazana returned for a one month break in August 2010 (which was then followed by the family trip to Launceston) and Syazwina returned in November 2010 (I’m still a bit peeved that I was unable to join her for the Thailand-leg of the holiday). While they unfortunately could not be in Malaysia at the same time, their presence (though we could never get the usual gang of 3) does offer some resemblance to the close bond my family is blessed with. With them around however, I do feel my purse gets lighter at a remarkably fast rate. I think that’s the ‘penalty’ of being the eldest sister to two incorrigible younger sisters who are pretty smart when it comes to money! I shouldn’t say too much at this point because Syazana will fly back to KL on 30 December 2010 and Syazwina could be reading this paragraph in Tasmania.

3. the trip to Bandung with Syazana in August 2010. Although it was a short weekend trip (having taken Friday afternoon off from work) during Ramadhan, it was really enjoyable. We didn’t go anywhere much except for the shopping streets and we didn’t do anything else but shopped. We had one full day on Saturday to shop which was nothing short of a super marathon. We went to Pasar Baru (where I think I bought enough materials to last me for 10 Rayas straight) in the morning, spent the rest of the day on the street which has Rumah Mode and other factory outlets before ending the night in the artsy Cihampelas Walk Mall. For most of the shopping expedition, I had to cajole and even persuade Syazana to take ‘Angkutan Kota’ (the Bandung equivalent to the Thais’ tuk-tuks), the ubiquitous vans plying the streets at a very cheap rate. For a mere 60 cents, we get to where we want to go and if we’re really lucky, some street performers may just jump into the van and play a song or two. Syazana must have been furious at my cheapskate-ness when we could be travelling in comfort using the BlueBird cabs! We (I think it was mostly me) left Bandung with a heavy heart and a promise to return (I’ve to return. Have not checked out the other factory outlets in store!).

4. the reunion with my primary school’s classmates at Pelita. For my part, I lost contact with most of them since we left school in the middle of 90’s. Yet, when I met up with those who were present (there were around 20 plus but many more could not come), it was as if time remained still. We may have gotten slightly, note the word slightly, older but we could still recognize each other and remember the fun we had. Am so looking forward to the next reunion, whenever that will be.

5. my office’s move to a new and bigger premise. Although I’m sad at leaving my old room behind (which has also been blogged about in ‘My Fish Tank’), my new room in the new office premise now overlooks the Kuala Lumpur Court Complex as well as a few huge bungalows. Ah, perhaps this is to encourage me to work harder so that I may one day buy a bungalow myself (feel free to gag).

6. the many opportunities to try out new restaurants with my colleagues who are not only well-versed in law but are real foodies at heart. Despite the calories-laden food which we successfully consumed over the year, I believe none of us had substantially grown side-ways. Well, not yet. And there are more restaurants opening up at our office building so it’s definite what my 2011 resolution will be like – eat more and maintain weight. Is this the classic case of having the cake and eat it at the same time?

7. the personal discovery of several fantastic websites which allow me to watch my Korean dramas. Or if I don’t actually have the time to watch every episode, the quick recaps which are sometimes better than the show itself. By reading the recaps (and I know I’m cheating here), I would be able to gauge whether I should set aside some time to watch those good shows. If the shows are bad, then I do not have to waste my time in watching them. The time saved would be channeled to a better use, say sleep.

8. the rapid increase of my collections, be it clothes and the whole female works, music and books. You could read about my shoe-perb experience in “The Whole 9 Yards” to see just how much one can go crazy in a shoe sale. I kid you not. If there’s resolution to be added to my 2011 list, I am tempted to say “Let me know about the upcoming sales!”. Okay, that does not sound good, not when I know my parents would be reading this. So use your discretion if you ever come across notifications of sales and should you decide to let me know about it, I am eternally grateful. If I don’t end up buying anything, it would be experience at the very least. And didn’t some wise old men say that we have to learn one way or the other? Speaking for myself, I’m learning first-hand that there’s beauty in retail therapy J

9. that I’m still close to a group of friends whom I’ve known since we entered university. While we may not meet up with each other as often as we would like to, we do make it a point to meet up at least once a week, be it for a simple dinner or watching a movie together. And when the mood really strikes, we get our asses off to the nearest karaoke spots to vent out whatever frustrations we had.

10. the trip to Penang to attend a good friend’s wedding in E&O. Ever since I realized E&O’s important distinction of being a colonial hotel, I had always prayed for an invitation to attend a wedding reception at its grand ballroom. Obviously, I want to carry out my personal function (but then again, there exists a tiny problem which my friends would understand) there myself. Unfortunately, since I’m not a Penangite and my relatives are either here in KL or down south, there could never be reason to choose E&O for anything. So I was delighted when my good friend decided to tie the knot and the couple ended up choosing E&O as the venue for their reception. To prove how freakingly excited I was, I immediately booked my flight to Penang upon my friend confirming the venue. Crazy. Being in Penang also gave me a chance to hang out with another good friend of mine who was kind enough to host me during my stay. Her whole family’s hospitality was just charming and I could not ask for more. She was even generous enough to bring me to E&O’s Sarkies Corner for their famed weekend lunch spread after hearing my another unfulfilled dream was to have lunch there. Hahaha.


What I despised about 2010 …

10. my non-existent travel plans for end of 2010 because of a trial which was fixed in April 2010 for 27-29 December 2010. By the time the trial was suddenly postponed by the Judge (and this was like end of November 2010), my leave was too little for any grand get-away to anywhere. To Greece and Paris, pleeeaassee wait for me.

9. the bouts of vomiting and diarrhea thanks to food poisonings. Interestingly enough, I could never recall having vomited in my younger days. My astrology did predict that I would have issues with bowel movement but to have that translated into episodes of vomiting does not exactly appease the soul.

8. questions being posed by relatives, friends and even strangers on my lack of personal life. For the record, let me just repeat myself for the umpteenth time. I’m fine with how I am at the moment so please, worry about some other person. Thank you very much.

7. the passing of my maternal uncle. I’ve yet to blog about this though. For now, it suffices to say that while I did not share a close bond with him in his lifetime, the sudden passing did catch us by surprise.

6. the impending demolition of Pudu Jail. Okay, this is totally random. I don’t know if it’s just me but I feel there’s a strong need to preserve our heritage. Though Pudu Jail could not be described in the same breath as 5-star hotels or mega shopping malls, it is an important milestone in our country’s history. A country which does not respect the past and remnants of such era, I believe, will not go anywhere. It was constructed in 1895 so for a building that has stood more than a century and ‘welcomed’ many colourful figures, I am just devastated it has to bid farewell in my lifetime.

5. the car accident which I was involved in (find it under ‘If my car could talk’). Until today, I still do not know what went wrong that fateful drizzling morning. The car has since been sent for inspection and nothing came out of it. But as a precaution, I will always treat the bend in the road that leads to Jalan Duta with caution. I’ve been in a spot once and should it happen again (touchwood), I do not know whether my luck will run out of me.

4. the country’s politics are still the same, being run by the same incompetence and complacency. Just today, I read a local daily which reported that my country’s prime minister spent around RM8.7 million on his overseas trips and he has been away close to 300 days. Heck, can we exchange jobs please? I don’t think the top job is that hard if all you need is to raise 1 finger up in public speeches, coin some cheesy phrases (Malaysia is great when it comes to phrases. If Greece was founded by the Gods, Malaysia must have been a breeding ground for advertisers) and do nothing when prices for essential items are hiked-up. Even worse is the fact that we’re an oil producing company, petrol prices are increased and we’re left with a reduction in subsidies. How cool is that? It is damn cool because my fellow Malaysian seemed to have accepted that while the country is moving nowhere, the leaders are free to travel everywhere using our hard-earned money.

3. the frightening number of fatalities caused by buses on our roads. Only recently was there a bus crash along Simpang Pulai (a route often used by locals and travelers to Cameron Highland) which claimed 27 lives, out of which 25 were Thai nationals. It’s sad that 2010 has to end on a very sad note. It is even sadder that this is not exactly the first bus-related accident that have snagged headlines. Previous horrific instances were blamed on drivers who were speeding or did not even have the necessary permits as well as roads which were not safe for motorists. Based on what I’ve read in the papers, the survivors from the Simpang Pulai crash claimed that the deceased driver was not speeding and that they smelled something burning before the fatal crash. Regardless the reason which led to the accident, there must be more firm and reactive action taken by the government. Frankly, I am tired with the whole ‘we will study the report’ or ‘we must find a holistic solution’ nuisance. It seems that ‘studying’ is all our leaders do and yet, reports of accidents and fatalities keep increasing. We must have exceptionally ‘intellectually-challenged’ people sitting on the pedestals of power for them not to understand the value of life. And since I’m ranting on this issue, I have one pertinent question. Why is it that in Malaysia, no one has ever resigned for the fatalities? In fact, let’s be honest here. No one in Malaysia’s corridors of powers has ever resigned for anything. That must say something about the level of accountability in this beloved country of mine. And it’s a glaring omission especially when we hear leaders from other countries who would resign even when there’s only a hint of impropriety thrown against them.

2. I still could not control my facial expressions, especially when I’m furiously angry. Dad suggested for me to wear a paper bag over my head but that’s too bothersome. Would Botox then be a good idea? This is definitely a solution to be considered…only if I have the money. By the way, you do know I was kidding right? I could only hope it is so.

1. I’m a year older! It won’t be long now before I hit that big 3-0. Hmm…I think I’ve to start peering closely at the mirror on a daily basis for those fine lines which will no doubt announce their impending arrival soon.

For the year that was, it is time for me to reflect and hope that 2011 brings with her, joy and blessings for all of mankind. Even if there is the unavoidable sadness, we must be guided that every cloud has its silver lining. With that, I wish everyone (particularly your good self for having spent some good minutes of 2010 to read this entry) a happy new year!

An observer of life...or part of it

It started with a question from someone I know.

“What does it mean when a girl allows a guy to touch her hand and shoulder?”

He wanted to know my views as I belong to the feminine gender.

For a simple question, I have to admit that the answer was hard. I had to think carefully before replying. After all, I may either unlock one of universe’s greatest mysteries or add further confusion to the one asking.

“Girls are complex beings. The ‘easy’ ones do not mind being touched at those places and even more. For the rest, allowing a guy to touch the hand and/or shoulders could be read as signs. Yet, the signs themselves may vary in meaning and weight. They could either mean that the girl is comfortable enough with the guy whom she sees as nothing more than a good buddy or she is trying to drive home a certain romantic message into the guy’s brains.”

Even I couldn’t understand what I was saying. Judging from the listener’s expression, he was also trying his best to make some sense out of it. But I guessed he must have found some pearls of wisdom because we continued our conversation. Although he didn’t initially identify the ‘guy’ in his question, I had my suspicion proven right when he let slip in his subsequent responses that he was the subject matter. And what made the conversation more interesting or insightful was that the ‘girl’ in the question was not his steady girlfriend. He confessed that he was starting to get bored with his girlfriend and for lack of better terms, was thinking of playing the field again. He wanted my views on whether he should mend his ways or break what he has with the girlfriend.

It struck me as odd that I’m always the receiving ear (pun intended) for these issues. Despite my lack of experience, somehow friends would end up telling me their relationship problems. Perhaps it is because I’ve always been the observer whose eyes have not been clouded by affection or overwhelmed by the dust from the battlefield. Alternatively, I could be an ‘Aunty Sue’ in the making where the only thing lacking now is a column in a local daily. Either way, I’m never one to shy away from giving my opinion if I seriously believe it would help others.

I told him frankly that it was unfair for the girlfriend if he’s to continue with the relationship when he has lost his will and heart. It was better to break up now when she is still young (and have more chances to attract potential suitors) than to string her along for a couple more years before using the flimsiest excuse not to settle down. As I’ve witnessed from those around me, the girls will always, and always will be the loser in the end. As it is, I pointed out that the guy had already been with his girlfriend for a couple of years. Even if he vows not to jump into the ‘couple’ scene right after the break up, it wouldn’t affect him one bit if he pursues another girl once he’s a free man. There would somehow be no ‘record’ or ‘trace’ of his previous relationship(s) which would be adverse to him.

Yet, the same thing can’t be said for the girl in question. Having been seen by society at large as the guy’s ‘girl’ for the past years, her value would be somewhat diminished. And while nothing could have happened (or nothing actually happened) during the period that they were together, it’s not wrong to say that most of the society’s members will still raise an eyebrow in disbelief and ask “Are you sure nothing happened?”. Sigh. Society’s unfair in that way.

He just looked at me in silence before telling me that I sounded like his mother. His mother!

Apparently, his mother had given the same advice – to break the relationship now to be fair to the girlfriend. While I’m still reeling at the thought of being told that I sounded like someone’s mother, that didn’t stop my tongue. I told him that his mother was being fair and was not only looking at her son’s interests. In fact, I had the unfortunate privilege of knowing mothers who see the world through rosy-tinted windows where it concerns their sons. To them, it is a divine right for their sons to play around with girls’ hearts and leave them broken like a crushed flower under someone’s heel. They forget that before they became mothers, they were once girls too.

It was a long conversation between us but I did manage to ask another question which I’ve always thought as important.

“Why did you choose her in the first place?”

He started his answer by saying that they got together during their student days. And his answer ended at that. I looked at him, sipped my drink and paused.

“You did it because of peer pressure”.

It may very well be a revelation. The sadder part was that he was not the only one. There are too many of us who are afraid that we will be viewed as ‘unpopular’ or ‘tak laku’ if we don’t snag a girl or boy to be our other halves. Rather than waiting for the right person, most of us just settle down with ‘second best’ or worst, ‘total rejects’. It is ironic that some of us are willing to be seen with people who are bad for us just so that we’re seen to have some ‘value’. I’m not sure if I’ve written this before in my blog but it has always been my personal view that choosing your other half can be likened to picking apples. You can easily get one bad apple from the many rotten apples wasting away on the ground. Yet, if you want to get a good apple, you must persevere in climbing the tree and weathering the uncertain weather before you get to pluck the fruit of Eden.

I told him that while the society is guilty of exerting social expectations (and if I may say, worthless pressure to settle down), the individual is equally guilty too. He (and there are many more like him) needs to think that the society will not care when your relationship breaks or your personal life shattered to smithereens due to a nasty break up or divorce. This could be the very reason why there would be many notices pasted on signboards announcing impending wedding receptions but there would be no notification when there are divorces or custody battles.

Whether it’s me looking at the glass half-full or half-empty, each of us will cry alone. If and when we cry, let it be because of a reasoned decision which we make (and we thought to be the correct one at the moment) and not because we were merely caught in a tide of nothings.

Respect does not come with age

Although the event which I’m about to blog about happened a month ago, I feel that the entry is a must. It is at best, my recollection lest it’s forgotten over time. It is at worst, a tale of how there are people who are unashamed in demanding respect when they are clearly not entitled to do so. By the way, it’s going to be a long entry so feel free to exit now. The choice is yours.

It happened on a Friday morning, 26 November 2010 to be precise. Now, Friday morning was supposed to be the start to a beautiful weekend (unless of course, there’s a need to clear the backlog of work on weekends. Shudder). That Friday morning, however, was something else. My two bosses were unfortunately stranded in another Court for hearing of a judicial review application. Their absence basically left me alone to attend ‘mention’ of a contempt application instituted by our client. What happened later though caused me to wonder whether their absence was the heaven’s way to make me sigh (or make a mental wail) “What have I done to get stuck in this?”.

A ‘mention’ should have been easy and one without complication. If a trial or hearing could be likened to a woman giving birth, a mention could be seen as, well, a pre-natal check up (Not that I have any experience in giving birth or attending a pre-natal check up though. Somehow, that picture came to mind the moment I’m left to wonder how on earth could I describe a ‘mention’ to a lay person). Further to my digression of thoughts, let me just state that mentions are usually for parties to either get new dates or inform the Court of the status of their matter. Well, this particular mention was not meant to be anything ordinary thanks to the contentious (some would even say scandalous. Gasp.) nature and the personalities involved.

Having obtained leave to commence the contempt proceedings against the Respondent (the party that my client is seeking action against), we had to serve the cause papers on the Respondent personally. This we had to do, failing which, the Respondent is entitled to say that he was not aware of the present proceedings. In our attempt to carry out the personal service, we wrote to the Respondent’s solicitors and counsel. Despite the numerous letters sent and telephone calls made, we did not manage to serve the papers on the Respondent. What we got instead, was a barrage of attacks disguised as correspondence from the other side. In their series of letters calculated to further frustrate us, they made several allegations which if read by people not privy to the facts or aware of the actual position in law, would have the probable effect of putting us in a negative light.

As they alleged that our client was, among others, being secretive and picking Magistrates when those were obviously not the case, we had enough of their nonsense. Big boss asked me to show the letters to Court so that the Magistrate may see for himself what we had to suffer at the hands of these people and have our objections recorded. That was all. On my part, I thought it was a no biggie as I did not think the other side’s extremely senior and learned practitioners would be present for a mere mention. To expect them to come would be akin to asking a heart specialist to administer a flu jab. Seriously, forgive me for my medical references. I do not know what has gotten over me.

But come they did. This was minutes after I informed the Court interpreter that the ‘other side’ has been informed of the mention by way of our solicitors’ letter. So these two gentlemen (believe me, I am being very polite. There are many other less appetizing words currently running in my head that I’m so tempted to use) strolled into Court and sat right in front of me. Without any sign of acknowledging my presence (or my boss’ absence), it was a telling sign of the impending showdown. As for me, there was no way I was going to say ‘hi’ to these people.

Our matter was finally called by the Magistrate after other matters had been disposed off. As it was my client’s application, I rose and introduced parties who were present. Immediately thereafter, I took out a stack of letters exchanged between parties and proceeded to hand the same to the Court. As I was under the instruction to guide the Magistrate through the chain of events, it was necessary that the Magistrate has a copy of the letters so that he may understand what I’m about to tell him. It was at this juncture that the Respondent’s older senior counsel (whom for brevity’s sake, is to be referred as ‘A’. Hmm…it is also pertinently interesting that a perusal of the dictionary would find a part of the human anatomy explained under ‘A’ as well) stood up and fired the first salvo at me. With a raised voice (I do not see why A had to raise his voice. If there’s anyone in danger of losing hearing due to age, he would have better chances), A accused me in open Court and in the presence of audience in the public gallery as not having the courtesy of giving him a copy of the documents which I had given to the Magistrate earlier.

Perhaps A thought he could intimidate me into submission by raising his voice. After all, I was just a young female lawyer who’s alone in the open Court. Well, he was obviously wrong because I only enraged him further. In a firm voice, I told A that there was no need to give him a copy of the letters because he would have it anyway. The letters were meant for the Court to know exactly what has been going on and that’s that. Having the opportunity to reflect of the event, I should have been scared. I was alone and there were no partners to shield me from the verbal attacks. Yet, when A raised his voice at me for the first time (and this would repeat countless times for the next half hour or so), something inside of me just snapped. While the ‘snap’ did not materialize in an outburst that could match A’s raised voice, I felt another foreign force was taking over my being. At that moment, I was not bothered that I was alone (my solicitor only came in the middle of the fun) or that I was in open Court or that our David-Goliath exchanges were being enjoyed by those sitting in the public gallery. What I focused on was to make my points, stop their nonsense and break their barrage of accusations.

Not only did A raise his voice, A also repeatedly told me to sit down. I refused. To me, it was unfair that A gets to interrupt my submission but I’ve to sit down when he’s uttering his load of bollocks. It was time for this old man to be taught that size and age does not matter when you do not play according to the rules. Another thing that really rankled my nerves was that A continuously made reference to the fact that I was young and did not have the courtesy against someone like him who had 40 years of experience. It was as if being born decades after him gave him the God-given right to bully other lawyers. Perhaps other young lawyers but not me. Cowing at the mention of ’40 years’ was not an option. It only made me more resolute that A must be taught (which is a pity, considering his 40 years’ experience. Clearly, he takes a longer time to learn what can be learnt in a day) that respect has to be earned. Respect is not something which you can expect from me just because you’re older. Respect does not come with age.

In my subsequent replies to them, I pointed out that any confusion alleged by them was only their own making. I could very well say (having been reminded of the 40 years’ crap time and time again) that the confusion which they ‘suffered’ from was because they’re delusional. Either that or an onset of Alzheimer’s disease which they’re not aware of. I refrained. Not giving in to temptation, I merely pointed out that there was no way a confusion could have arose as A and his sidekick (which we can call as B. Now, there are also descriptions of the lower part of the human anatomy in the dictionary under ‘B’ which would serve the same purpose as the earlier definition of ‘A’) had been present in all related proceedings for both the lower and higher courts.

A said so many other things which if I’m to write about it here, may go on forever. Also, I do not wish to put in public domain, the sheer ludicrous points which A brought up and would be a total affront to his 40 years’ value. In the end and bored to death with his continuous reminder that I was not even born when he started practicing, I couldn’t stop myself. With a straight face, I told the Court that while I may not have 40 years’ experience or born 40 years ago, those have no relevance to the facts which are clearly present. Since they were umbraged by us seeking their assistance to serve the cause papers on their client and in their eyes, reduced to mere ‘messenger’, I asked the Court to place on record that –

(a) we had done everything possible but was unsuccessful in effecting service;

(b) their allegations in their letters against our client were clearly unwarranted in view of the facts; and

(c) we will serve the cause papers on their client when parties appear for the trial proper.

Even this was objected to. A stood up and said that I have no right to ‘direct’ the Court to place on record. Clearly, age has gotten the better of him. If I was in his position, I wouldn’t know where to hide my face when the Magistrate said there was nothing wrong with my request. With a foreseeable successful service of cause papers on their client, I then asked the Court to fix a hearing date for the contempt application. Again A rose on his hind legs and objected. And when the Magistrate actually fixed a mention date for the application and despite the theatrical performance one would not have expected of a ‘senior’ practitioner, both A and B continued to surprise us further. They had the audacity to stand and requested to be excused from the next mention as they’re not representing the Respondent in respect of the contempt. If that had been the case, then they should ask themselves this – Why do you even bother to attend when you have no right to do so?. It must be mind-boggling to a man with 40 years’ experience.

If 40 years gives you the ability to lie through your teeth or intimidate your juniors when you’re clearly in the wrong, I don’t think I should stay in the legal profession for that long. I’ve seen for myself in Court that day, that if that is the case, I am nothing more but a stubborn stretch of rust that lines the drain and pollutes the water.