Keeping fit

My employer recently informed us that we are entitled to a gym membership where the fees (if it doesn't exceed a certain amount, which I will not disclose here) may be fully subsidised by them.

Great.

I know this must be part of the higher universe's plan for me to exercise. God, you must be laughing somewhere. For those who know me, my idea of exercise is simple. Lying on the sofa with fingers pressing the buttons of the remote control. If I'm to exercise harder, that would mean me leaving the sofa to get some snacks from the fridge!

My colleagues were happy. I was not. Yet, they were keen to persuade me that perhaps, it is a good idea to apply for a gym membership. In an e-mail sent to me, one of them remarked that by exercising, I could burn off 250-300 calories. And knowing my penchant for tiramisu, it was pointed out that I could now have 2 extra slices of dessert.

If you can't guess it by now, let me paint the picture clearer. Pigs may fly before my name and health regimes or healthy living can be seen in a sentence together.

However, I am not fascinated by the idea that I have to burn off 250-300 calories so that I can eat 2 extra slices of cake. I don't see the point, honestly. I eat what I eat in amounts which I'm comfortable with. Sure, I hardly exercise but I don't exactly over-indulged myself (which is by the way, contrary to the misconceptions people have of me). And yes, I hate it when people discuss calories when we're eating. Nothing spoils the appetite more than having people listing down the calories which they have consumed and must burn before the day is over. I know there must be 1001 topics which we can talk over dinner than how big our bums are and how we can lose those (extra and unsightly) pounds of flesh.

That is not to say that I haven't exercised in my life before. I did albeit unwillingly. For example, sitting around on the field and chatting with friends during P.E. lessons (there will be some feeble display of stretching whenever the instructor raises an eyebrow in our direction) Well, P.E. lessons were centuries ago. So maybe that doesn't count.

Then, there were episodes when I had to suddenly run for my life. Neighbour's dogs which I thought are safely locked behind the gates but suddenly appear like ferocious beasts are good catalysts for me to be a sprinter. That perhaps explain why nowadays I never walk to anywhere. Instead, I opt for the comfort (and safety) of my car.

I do, however, indulge myself in swimming. That’s one sport which I do not need to sweat, obviously. Unfortunately, the couple of laps I’ve done in hotel pools hardly puts me in the running to be the female version of Ian Thorpe. Further, the realisation that swimming increases my appetite as well as the thickness of my limbs are not exactly appealing.

For now, I think I'll just sleep on the gym membership first. Didn't they say that sleeping burns off the calories? Or is it the other way around?

Fury for the Dory

I had met up with the girls for dinner at La Manila, MidValley quite sometime ago. While the restaurant wasn’t exactly one of my favourite choice, it was a majority decision (and if I may equate it to the current political landscape, it is a case in point that the majority is not always good or right. It just happened that there are a lot more people who voted for the same thing). What happened to us during dinner, however, was the last nail that sealed the coffin. If I may, to put the restaurant on my blacklist would actually insult the list itself!

Sya and I arrived earlier than the rest. While waiting for Akmar, we proceeded to place our orders. Sya ordered chicken chop which she chose to include an additional add-on drink for an extra RM1 as well as a ‘Red Velvet’ slice of cake.

I was having a more difficult time in choosing my dinner. After being reminded that I did not like the restaurant’s spaghetti dishes, I settled for the pan-grilled dory fish. Like Sya, I could have opted for an add-on drink i.e. Cincau or Iced Lemon Tea. Obviously, Coke was a more tempting choice and I fail miserably when it comes to temptations. To the waiter’s chagrin (and he was really miffed that I refused his suggestion to order the add-on drink. Excuse me, I would rather pay something more for something that I like than paying less for a bargain which would be totally wasted on me), I ordered my usual Coke as well as a slice of ‘Chocolate Tiramisu’ for dessert.

I also gave specific instructions to the waiter that our cakes are to be served after we are done with the mains.

Akmar and Rehan came soon after, ordered their dishes and we turned to the normal catching-up session while dinner is being prepared.

Minutes later, Akmar’s Chicken Cordon Bleu arrived at our table. Then, it was Rehan's dish which made its way to our table. Sya and I were kept waiting and wait we did, for close to an hour. I was understandably pissed. Our queries on 'Where is our food' seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. We see the staff moving back and forth but there was no sign of our food. And they seemed to be blind as well (pls excuse my reference. I do not intend to insult those who are really blind) because us waving our arms like idiots were not noticed by them at all. For heaven's sake, the restaurant is not even that huge!

Now, I've been told that when it comes to restaurants or places which you intend to have your meal, the temper must be restrained. I mean, you wouldn't know what they will do (or put in your dishes) after a scolding from customer. Either that or the fact that my sister used to work part-time at a restaurant so through her, I've come to realise that the staff are humans as well.

Anyway, it took considerable effort on my part to be patient. But patience is not a virtue when you're hungry and food seems to be the last thing that will come your way.

And I'll admit it here. I totally lost it. My temper got the better of me.

From our table which was near the restaurant's entrance, I made full use of my vocal chords. I know there are other patrons (obviously, I'm not as blind as the staff there) but what the heck. I bloody made sure everyone knows that we've been kept waiting for ages (and with no reason to boot) for food which may never come. Perhaps that was what they needed all along - a good shelling. Because our food immediately came and typical of Malaysians, there was a notable absence of apology. Instead, they acted as if I had purposely wounded them without a just cause. It does make me wonder why tourists say Malaysians are a polite lot. Because from where I was sitting (or shouting), the attitude was just sickening.

When I was barely half-way through my dish, the desserts came. By now, I can confirm (without regret) that they do employ total idiots. I signalled one of the staff to come to our table and I repeated my specific instructions - Desserts are to be served after we're done with our meals. I thought it was pretty clear the first time I said it but it must be too much for them to muster. So the desserts returned to the refrigerator.

The dinner experience was definitely an experience which I want to forget. And since we're at it, I will definitely forget the restaurant. It's just not worth my time and the dory is something I could do without.

* This entry is long-overdue but a recent outing to MidValley kinda brought back the nasty memories. And it doesn't help that I have to pass by the restaurant on my way to the cinema.*

Fallen

At my age, people fall in love and most would inevitably suffer from heartache of unrequited affections or love which has withered prematurely. Not me.

I have not fallen in love. Not yet. What I have been 'privileged' enough was the experience to fall on something else.

My bathroom floor to be exact.

If you are a korean drama fan, I could probably hear gushes of how romantic the scene could be. Imagine 'My Girl' where Lee Dong Wook rushes into the bathroom and scooped an undressed Lee Da Hae who had just slipped on the wet tiles. And that's the start of a beautiful romance.

Well, the bathroom as well as the undressed parts were there alright. Come on, if I can admit falling on the bathroom floor, everything else is pretty relative. Lee Dong Wook was unfortunately missing from the picture though.

Anyway, I fell alright. On a hot Saturday morning which I will always remember as 28th May 2011, what started out as a prelim to a routine shower became something else. One moment, I was standing upright. The next moment saw me staring at the ceiling and a searing pain at the back of my head. For the first time in my life, I felt what it was like to be lying on my dry bathroom floor.

The first reaction was feeling scared. I didn't know what to do. I think I cried. Then, I tried moving my hands and it worked. So my limbs are still working, phew. But it didn't feel right to continue lying on the floor waiting for people to discover me. I had to move myself from the floor and that I did. After I wrapped myself with a towel, I went to my mother. From here onwards, everything was from Mama's recollection as my memory went completely blank.

Mama said I went up to her and told her that I had fallen in the bathroom and hit my head. Think there was also a few episodes of vomiting before my parents rushed me to UH's trauma centre. I really didn't know what was going on. I could sense my parents with me and myself being ferried from one place to another in a wheelchair but that was it. For a scaredy-cat like me, I didn't even remember the doctor who inserted the plastic thingy into my veins and drew blood before I was wheeled for a CT scan.

My parents must have been worried to death. What was supposed to be a Saturday morning turned out to be hours at UH. The best part was that I had given my handphone (as well as other important confidential info) to my mom without me realising it. I couldn't help but wonder if there were not-to-be-told secrets disclosed in my moments of blankness.

I'm extremely thankful to God that despite the fall (which my Dad confirmed as a loud thock which he heard from the tv room below), the CT scan didn't show any fracture to my skull. There was however, swelling in the center area at the back of my brain. Later viewing of the brain image shows a smiling face with the darkened image of the swelling serving as the protruding nose. See, my sense of humour is still intact despite the fall!

No thanks to the fall, I spent the following 1 week plus at home on medical leave. There were moments of dizziness, especially when I was trying to lift my head from the pillow or standing still. Then, there was the painful episodes of me being unable to sneeze due to the tight ribcage. I will never treat the ubiquitous 'Ah Choo!' in the same way again. And the simple luxury of sleeping on my back was no longer mine thanks to the bump at the back of my head. My familiar sleeping style had to be changed to sleeping on the sides and stiffened my neck along the way.

A follow-up visit to the neurosurgery clinic revealed that I needed to undergo the MRI scan. Will see how it goes and whether the outcome warrants a subsequent blog entry.

But the 'best' part of all would have to be the voluminous amount of papaya I had to consume!!! I've never been a fruit lover so it is extremely pathetic that I have to associate each medical episode of my life with a fruit. Back in 2007, I had the chicken pox and that period was marked with coconuts. Now, it's a hit to the head and papaya is the word of the day. My dad said that it was either papaya or pineapple to help bring the swelling down. A classic case of the devil or the deep blue sea.

There is a nagging feeling that what triggered this episode is somewhat along the lines of a supernatural intrusion. Yet, I'm not keen to write on this part lest I pose unnecessary scare to some of you. It's enough to say that I will never again enter any bathroom or toilet without a prayer to ward off all evil forces.

Since I'm writing this entry, I wish to record my thanks to the following people -

(a) first and foremost, my parents. I've never been so thankful that I'm still staying with them. I hate to think what would have happened if I was living alone;

(b) a close second, my concerned sisters. Though they are in Australia and Korea, I think I could feel their worry;

(c) my effarogy. I apologised for not telling earlier but your visits as well as the food treats are deeply appreciated;

(d) my bosses for paying a visit and being understanding of my medical condition. Oh, and not forgetting my dishevelled image which I greeted them with. It must have been more than a fashion scare; and

(e) the well wishes and concern from other family members, friends and individuals. To name you all would be more than an entry on its own. I like to think that I will thank each of you personally when I have the chance to do so.

* I had originally wanted to blog about my travels for year 2011 thus far - memorable holiday to Korea in January and effarogy's first ever overseas trip (together) to Hong Kong in April. Yet again, I've been distracted and for that, I could only be reminded of a Yiddish proverb taught by a friend -

"Men plan, God laughs".