Keeping fit

My employer recently informed us that we are entitled to a gym membership where the fees (if it doesn't exceed a certain amount, which I will not disclose here) may be fully subsidised by them.

Great.

I know this must be part of the higher universe's plan for me to exercise. God, you must be laughing somewhere. For those who know me, my idea of exercise is simple. Lying on the sofa with fingers pressing the buttons of the remote control. If I'm to exercise harder, that would mean me leaving the sofa to get some snacks from the fridge!

My colleagues were happy. I was not. Yet, they were keen to persuade me that perhaps, it is a good idea to apply for a gym membership. In an e-mail sent to me, one of them remarked that by exercising, I could burn off 250-300 calories. And knowing my penchant for tiramisu, it was pointed out that I could now have 2 extra slices of dessert.

If you can't guess it by now, let me paint the picture clearer. Pigs may fly before my name and health regimes or healthy living can be seen in a sentence together.

However, I am not fascinated by the idea that I have to burn off 250-300 calories so that I can eat 2 extra slices of cake. I don't see the point, honestly. I eat what I eat in amounts which I'm comfortable with. Sure, I hardly exercise but I don't exactly over-indulged myself (which is by the way, contrary to the misconceptions people have of me). And yes, I hate it when people discuss calories when we're eating. Nothing spoils the appetite more than having people listing down the calories which they have consumed and must burn before the day is over. I know there must be 1001 topics which we can talk over dinner than how big our bums are and how we can lose those (extra and unsightly) pounds of flesh.

That is not to say that I haven't exercised in my life before. I did albeit unwillingly. For example, sitting around on the field and chatting with friends during P.E. lessons (there will be some feeble display of stretching whenever the instructor raises an eyebrow in our direction) Well, P.E. lessons were centuries ago. So maybe that doesn't count.

Then, there were episodes when I had to suddenly run for my life. Neighbour's dogs which I thought are safely locked behind the gates but suddenly appear like ferocious beasts are good catalysts for me to be a sprinter. That perhaps explain why nowadays I never walk to anywhere. Instead, I opt for the comfort (and safety) of my car.

I do, however, indulge myself in swimming. That’s one sport which I do not need to sweat, obviously. Unfortunately, the couple of laps I’ve done in hotel pools hardly puts me in the running to be the female version of Ian Thorpe. Further, the realisation that swimming increases my appetite as well as the thickness of my limbs are not exactly appealing.

For now, I think I'll just sleep on the gym membership first. Didn't they say that sleeping burns off the calories? Or is it the other way around?

Fallen

At my age, people fall in love and most would inevitably suffer from heartache of unrequited affections or love which has withered prematurely. Not me.

I have not fallen in love. Not yet. What I have been 'privileged' enough was the experience to fall on something else.

My bathroom floor to be exact.

If you are a korean drama fan, I could probably hear gushes of how romantic the scene could be. Imagine 'My Girl' where Lee Dong Wook rushes into the bathroom and scooped an undressed Lee Da Hae who had just slipped on the wet tiles. And that's the start of a beautiful romance.

Well, the bathroom as well as the undressed parts were there alright. Come on, if I can admit falling on the bathroom floor, everything else is pretty relative. Lee Dong Wook was unfortunately missing from the picture though.

Anyway, I fell alright. On a hot Saturday morning which I will always remember as 28th May 2011, what started out as a prelim to a routine shower became something else. One moment, I was standing upright. The next moment saw me staring at the ceiling and a searing pain at the back of my head. For the first time in my life, I felt what it was like to be lying on my dry bathroom floor.

The first reaction was feeling scared. I didn't know what to do. I think I cried. Then, I tried moving my hands and it worked. So my limbs are still working, phew. But it didn't feel right to continue lying on the floor waiting for people to discover me. I had to move myself from the floor and that I did. After I wrapped myself with a towel, I went to my mother. From here onwards, everything was from Mama's recollection as my memory went completely blank.

Mama said I went up to her and told her that I had fallen in the bathroom and hit my head. Think there was also a few episodes of vomiting before my parents rushed me to UH's trauma centre. I really didn't know what was going on. I could sense my parents with me and myself being ferried from one place to another in a wheelchair but that was it. For a scaredy-cat like me, I didn't even remember the doctor who inserted the plastic thingy into my veins and drew blood before I was wheeled for a CT scan.

My parents must have been worried to death. What was supposed to be a Saturday morning turned out to be hours at UH. The best part was that I had given my handphone (as well as other important confidential info) to my mom without me realising it. I couldn't help but wonder if there were not-to-be-told secrets disclosed in my moments of blankness.

I'm extremely thankful to God that despite the fall (which my Dad confirmed as a loud thock which he heard from the tv room below), the CT scan didn't show any fracture to my skull. There was however, swelling in the center area at the back of my brain. Later viewing of the brain image shows a smiling face with the darkened image of the swelling serving as the protruding nose. See, my sense of humour is still intact despite the fall!

No thanks to the fall, I spent the following 1 week plus at home on medical leave. There were moments of dizziness, especially when I was trying to lift my head from the pillow or standing still. Then, there was the painful episodes of me being unable to sneeze due to the tight ribcage. I will never treat the ubiquitous 'Ah Choo!' in the same way again. And the simple luxury of sleeping on my back was no longer mine thanks to the bump at the back of my head. My familiar sleeping style had to be changed to sleeping on the sides and stiffened my neck along the way.

A follow-up visit to the neurosurgery clinic revealed that I needed to undergo the MRI scan. Will see how it goes and whether the outcome warrants a subsequent blog entry.

But the 'best' part of all would have to be the voluminous amount of papaya I had to consume!!! I've never been a fruit lover so it is extremely pathetic that I have to associate each medical episode of my life with a fruit. Back in 2007, I had the chicken pox and that period was marked with coconuts. Now, it's a hit to the head and papaya is the word of the day. My dad said that it was either papaya or pineapple to help bring the swelling down. A classic case of the devil or the deep blue sea.

There is a nagging feeling that what triggered this episode is somewhat along the lines of a supernatural intrusion. Yet, I'm not keen to write on this part lest I pose unnecessary scare to some of you. It's enough to say that I will never again enter any bathroom or toilet without a prayer to ward off all evil forces.

Since I'm writing this entry, I wish to record my thanks to the following people -

(a) first and foremost, my parents. I've never been so thankful that I'm still staying with them. I hate to think what would have happened if I was living alone;

(b) a close second, my concerned sisters. Though they are in Australia and Korea, I think I could feel their worry;

(c) my effarogy. I apologised for not telling earlier but your visits as well as the food treats are deeply appreciated;

(d) my bosses for paying a visit and being understanding of my medical condition. Oh, and not forgetting my dishevelled image which I greeted them with. It must have been more than a fashion scare; and

(e) the well wishes and concern from other family members, friends and individuals. To name you all would be more than an entry on its own. I like to think that I will thank each of you personally when I have the chance to do so.

* I had originally wanted to blog about my travels for year 2011 thus far - memorable holiday to Korea in January and effarogy's first ever overseas trip (together) to Hong Kong in April. Yet again, I've been distracted and for that, I could only be reminded of a Yiddish proverb taught by a friend -

"Men plan, God laughs".

Half a Sunday Gone

Woke up this morning at 10 a.m., a far cry from my intended 8.30 a.m. It's a bit of a dampener to think that almost half a Sunday is gone while I'm still tucked under my comforter.

But then again, I only started to sleep at 4.30 a.m. Went to bed at 1 a.m. but the head felt as if some invisible forces were banging it for all it's worth. Unable to sleep, I spent the next 2 hours or so turning restlessly for a position that would alleviate the pain. That idea did not work. Tried switching on the tv and E! came out. Even that was not a good idea because of the constant flickering of lights from the show that seemed to aggravate my pain even more.

I had no choice but to reach out for my Ponstan. Popped a pill and before long, I was fast asleep.

With my recent bout of headache, it made me wonder whether the body is trying to tell me something. Health wise, it has not been a good month. First, there was the bouts of dizziness. I would feel unstable when I walked, as if the grounds were bent on making me fall. I could not get up without feeling a sudden 'whoosh' and I had to stay still for a while before making the next move. Even when I was lying down and closed my eyes, the head made me feel as if the entire body is floating around in circles.

Went to the doctor and he said that I was suffering from vertigo. Funny thing is, I've never had vertigo before although I know several people who had or are suffering from it still.

Next episode of health was after my return from Australia recently. I do not know whether it was accumulated fatigue (as my friend puts it, my body just broke down) or food poisoning. What I knew was that during a dinner meet at a hotel, I was eating from my first plate (containing measly helpings of my usual favourite dishes) when I felt really funny. Went straight to the restroom. What I thought as the little burp wanting to escape turned into a violent gush of throwing up. So unexpected was the vomiting that I did not manage to aim it properly into the toilet bowl. I shall not delve deeper into the visuals because it is, in one word, disgusting. And for someone who rarely vomits (I swear, there could not have been more than 2 episodes in the past), that moment felt like I could not control either my stomach or my throat. Both parts of the anatomy were working together in flushing out everything I've taken upstream. I was merely the puppet or conduit between them and the toilet bowl.

I returned to the dinner meet and tried to put a normal front. Obviously, I couldn't tell the rest of the party about the episode. For the rest of the dinner, I only drank plain water and ate some plain sushi. Yet, I found myself rushing to the loo once more and again, I was reduced to a conduit. Threw up and to my amazement, the stomach continues to pump out what ever that was left in my stomach. My aim was better this time around so less time was needed before I left the loo.

As a matter of precaution, I took home several plastic bags from the hotel's fnb section. My bosses queried as to why I was taking home the plastic bags but I just said I needed it. My parents came to fetch me because they were afraid of the possibility that I might just throw up while driving. That night, I slept with a small bucket by my bed in preparing for the sudden urges to throw up.

In total, I threw up for another 3 times in the wee hours. And by the end of it, it was just water coming out. My stomach was already exhausted but somehow, it had the determination to continue pumping out nothing.

Finally, my voice became affected to what I think was because of the vomiting.

Enough with the health episodes. Am now waiting for mama and abah to bring home my kfc meal.