Tuesday, August 28, 2012

55 facets of a Malaysian life

Just when my Raya break comes to an end, it’s time for another long weekend. 55 years ago, my forefathers had witnessed the historic moment when the Union Jack finally came down and Tunku’s iconic words reverberated across the nation. 55 years later, the celebration continues with much pomp and splendour. While my forefathers celebrated independence as a matter of honour, our independence is now celebrated by the current generation as another guaranteed public holiday. Lest I’m accused of being unpatriotic, let me say this. The past 55 years have given us much time to develop what I see as the Malaysian way of life, including the penchant for an overwhelming number of public holidays. And in honour of our upcoming 55th anniversary, let me just share with you, 54 varied items which I think make Malaysians, Malaysians lah!

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE

54. Yup, our fondness of adding the ‘lah’ to end practically every sentence is a mystery with unknown origins. We were colonized and that introduced us to the ‘Queen’s English’. Yet, even the Queen’s English could not withstand the onslaught of what the locals call as ‘Manglish’. We don’t end our sentences with a defined note but leave them hanging with the ‘lah’ trailing for eternity. For Malaysians, it just won’t do to say ‘Come!’. Instead, it’s more often that we hear ‘Come-lahhhh’.


53. Manglish is also incomplete without reference to few other terms. If an Anglophile says ‘I believe it is, don’t you think so?’, a Malaysian is spot-on by uttering ‘I believe it is, ha-mai’. If an Westerner exclaims in disbelief ‘OMG’, it’s more Malaysian to say ‘Wallau-weh…’. And if you’re an African-American trying to chill with your fellow brothers, here it’s just a simple gesture of having ‘teh tarik’ with your ‘machas´or ‘An-ay’!


52. Don’t be confused with the usage of specific terms in English here. In other countries, there is a clear difference between ‘borrow’ and ‘lend’. Here, it’s cincai-lah. ‘Borrow’ also can, ‘lend’ also can, whatever the context is. Somehow, Malaysians tend to understand each other very well, even with grammatical errors. The same goes to ‘that’s mean’ as opposed to the correct ‘that means’. Correcting your peers on it will only mean you’re directly related to the Queen of England herself!


51. Apart from Manglish, Malaysians (or at least, where Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka is heavily involved) also have another sort of language. You can call it either the ‘celup’ syndrome or simply being confused by what’s ours and what’s not. While I’m not exactly a proponent for Bahasa Melayu, I would think the language has a sufficient glossary without ‘melayu-sing’ foreign words. So why is it nowadays, that the government uses ‘Bajet’ when there’s the perfectly acceptable ‘Belanjawan’? That’s just one of the many examples which I can think of.


DRIVING, THE MALAYSIAN STYLE


50. Most Malaysians, especially when they drive, are surprisingly colour-blind. Whether it’s red, yellow or green, Malaysians tend to reach the same conclusion – go! It is after all, a matter of speed and comprehension. If it’s green, it’s understood that you can ‘go’ at a leisurely pace. If it’s yellow, it’s ‘go’ at a much faster pace with dagger eyes at the car in front of you. If it’s red, it’s definitely ‘go’ and a silent prayer that there’s no traffic police nearby.


49. Even if there’s a traffic police nearby, it’s hardly something to break cold sweat. After all, what can they do? The easy ones may be appeased by a surreptitious passing of some polymer notes even while bearing the ‘Saya tidak terima rasuah’ badge on their chest. The stricter ones will of course issue you with traffic summonses but don’t fret. Imagine them as coupon vouchers. Collect them and wait for the redemption period to be announced by the government. You may find yourself with an unbeatable offer in settling 5 for the price of 2!


48. Malaysian drivers are also mind-readers. Those driving behind us should and ought to know, by the sheer fact that our cars are inching towards the sides, that we are going to change lanes. Hence, there is no necessity to overwork the signal button. Also, don’t be alarmed if you suddenly find yourself behind a car that doesn’t move and yet, the driver fails to put on the hazard sign. You see, you’re expected to know that there’s something wrong with his or her car. So it is only reasonable for you to move on while the car’s driver remains oblivious to the angry stares.


47. Being angry while driving is nothing new for Malaysians. We’re a stressed society not because of taxing working hours but because of the hours spent on the road. It’s common to hear ‘Haiya, everywhere sure jam one!’. Despite the many highways, flyovers and tolls, we would find ourselves stuck in traffic jam every other day. With fellow mind-readers on the road purposely zooming into the tiny space between your car and the car in front of you (they obviously knew you meant to leave that gap for their benefit), one’s sanity is indeed a scarce commodity.


46. But traffic jams are also the number one excuse for Malaysians to abide by the now world-famous ‘Malaysian time’. If the meeting started at 3 pm and a Malaysian coolly walks in at 3.30, you need not ask more. Even if the question was asked, the answer will be an uncreative and oft-quoted ‘Massive traffic jam lah’.


45. Some of us thought it’s smarter to rely on Touch&Go and beat the queue. Unlike those losers who have to queue to pay cash, the privileged ones have reloadable cards which they just need to tap for access. Well, that used to be the case. Now, the operators have become even more brilliant. What used to be separate lanes for Touch&Go and cash are now merged at almost every toll. Perhaps they’re trying to push the equality line between the haves & haves not?


44. A notch ahead than Touch&Go would be the SmartTag users. It is a great invention especially since you don’t have to stretch your limbs out just to reach the machine. And considering local cars’ notoriety with stubborn windows after those first few years, it’s a blessing in disguise. So one can expect a smooth sailing, right? Wrong. You’re not a Malaysian if you haven’t been caught by the message ‘Tiada Smart Tag Dikesan’ or barred by a static railing despite having a fully reloaded Touch&Go.


43. Any self-respecting Malaysian driver would know by experience, that come festive season, all driving rules will fly out of the window. One rule constantly breached is not to park along the bylanes immediately after a highway toll. But you can’t help it if you’re a Malaysian. Particularly if you’re part of a convoy of cars headed to the same destination. Every car will need to stop and park until the last member arrives. By then, it will be a mini traffic jam impeding other cars from going through.


42. Malaysians are probably raised to believe that when it comes to interstate travel, there’s not much hope to rely on the ‘Kenderaan berat di laluan kiri’ signboards. If you’re amused at the sight of a small car hurtling down the highway like a speck of dust, you’ll surely be in awe when lorries, buses and tractors also move at full speed. Yet, please soothe your thinning patience if you’re in the extreme right lane and still find yourself staring at these giant transformers’ backside.


41. If driving on an interstate highway is a challenge, try the normal roads. You are definitely not a Malaysian if your car fails to discover potholes. If a chess player has to get past knights and bishops before reaching the king and calling it checkmate, a Malaysian driver has to navigate his way around potholes (some roads are particularly notorious for it) before hoping to reach his destination with the car still intact.


40. While some have yet to experience the thrill of unexpectedly driving over a gigantic pothole, I’m sure all of us had driven on roads with ongoing construction works. And I must say, it’s amazing how the constructions never seem to end. Today, you may find yourself stuck in a jam because of construction at one end of the road. You think you’re smart and make a detour the next day, only to discover that you’re still stuck in traffic because the construction has moved as well.


39. Let’s now focus on the Malaysian style of parking. Regardless of what has been taught, it’s a reality of Malaysian life that parking is not confined within the parameters of a box. Generally, one cannot park along the yellow line but hey, it’s Malaysia Boleh okay. Everywhere is a parking area, including trolley alleys which would fit a Kancil nicely. If push comes to shove and you find yourself without a parking space, Malaysians will park behind (or in front of) each other’s cars. It’s then a matter of luck whether the driver leaves their number behind or not!


38. Even when a Malaysian driver parks his or her car within the designated parking lot, it’s only half a battle won. See that nearby machine which dispenses parking tickets upon payment? Well, in Malaysia, they would usually be turned into handy advertisement boards. Approached only when the ‘Ah Long stickers’ needed to find a spot. Or when Malaysians are told that the municipal officers are in the vicinity and everyone makes a mad dash to insert that 50 sen coin for an hour of parking.



REFLECTIONS OF PATRIOTISM


37. Considering Merdeka is coming soon, government buildings, streets and houses will be decked with our national flag in the name of patriotism. Cabs are not leaving themselves out of the fun too. It does not matter that the cabs are dirty or look like moving scrap metal on the roads. The cab operators would install portable flags near their windscreen or paste a bigger flag as their boot’s cover. Either way, the same flag flying high at the United Nations’ headquarters will see its lesser-privileged siblings being covered with grime and finally thrown away with the dignity of a rag cloth.


36. Speaking about patriotism, Malaysians are a peculiar lot when it comes to ‘Negaraku’. True, every school-going Malaysian will sing it every Monday before class commences. But once we leave school, there is really no other opportunity for us to sing our national anthem. We can’t sing it during major sports events simply because we’re not exactly medal contenders. Only RTM1 & RTM2 will start and end their daily broadcasting period with the anthem but then again, who would actually wait for it? We’re not like the Thais who sing their anthem with pride even in the cinema halls.


35. We should be extremely proud that ‘Negaraku’ is similar to a pop hit. It has its original version as well as the remix, thanks to a sudden burst of creativity by the government. So while my parents grew up with the slow and majestic ‘Negaraku’ (but admittedly, quite vocally taxing), I grew up singing ‘Negaraku’ in a marching-band style. No emotions were required, only pure speed and a sense of rat-tat-tat. But again, the original will always prevail over remixes and Malaysians are now back to singing ‘Negaraku’ as it should be – slow and majestic.


34. Apart from ‘Negaraku’, every school-going Malaysian child is also expected to sing their respective states’ anthem. I was born and raised in Selangor so for a good decade, I had to wail at the top of my lungs in every school assembly for ‘Duliii Yang Mahaa Mulia. Selaaamat di aatas takhta. Allahhh lanjutkan usia Tuanku. Rakyat mohon restu, bawah Duli Tuanku’. Well, my cousins in other states probably had better luck with their own songs. Perhaps their state composer recognized that not everyone is blessed with Celine Dion’s powerful octaves.


33. One thing’s for sure. Our patriotism, as reflected in the ruling government’s actions, does not lie in preserving heritage buildings. Who needs patriotism when we demolished Pudu Prison just because it happened to be in the prime Bukit Bintang area? Who cares about patriotism when the iconic Bukit Bintang Girls School had to make way for yet another mega shopping mall? Who gives a toot when a perfectly functioning Istana Negara was needlessly relocated to Jalan Duta?


32. We have with us, the 5 tenets of ‘Rukunegara’. The first tenet is not a problem, judging by the variety of religions professed by Malaysians. The second tenet is a bit suspect, considering how the royalty is subject to the whims and fancies of YBs and Y. Berhormats. The third tenet is seriously questionable. The Federal Constitution which should reign supreme, has been amended numerous times thanks to the overwhelming (unthinking) majority. The fourth tenet is, well, beyond hope. Otherwise, how could draconian statutes which suppress Malaysians’ fundamental rights be passed? Malaysians need to be taught that there is a clear difference between ‘Rule of Law’ and ‘Rule by Law’, the latter being Malaysia.


31. The fifth tenet of ‘Rukunegara’ is honestly to me, a mystery. Tourists may claim that we’re a polite lot but they must have come across protected species of Malaysians. The ones I encounter on a normal basis could hardly be described in the same manner. We cut queues, we rush for free food just because it’s free, we never apologise for our mistakes and the list goes on.

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

30. It’s trite that everything is controlled by money but in Malaysia, we can’t even control our denominations. Unlike the Franklins and Hamiltons which have remained unchanged, we change our polymer-notes denominations faster than we can say ‘Monopoly!’. The RM20 which was taken off market merely a few years ago is now back in fashion, making a statement in bright orange hue. Each of the RM1, RM5, RM10 and RM50 had also received facelifts. I don’t even want to discuss about the coins, with the latest 50 coin easily confused with its lesser 20 sen brother.


29. Part of me has this sinking notion that all that glitter may not even be real. Despite us having brand-new polymer notes and shiny coins, do we even have money in the Federal Reserves? Most would suspect that our funds are dwindling, fast. What then could inspire the government to urge civil servants to literally work until they die? The retirement age is continuously increased. With deadwood remaining in the system far longer than they should, there’s no place for fresh blood.


28. As the perfect partner in a tango of wrongs, Cuepacs too is continuously asking for a raise in salaries. Everyone welcomes a raise, don’t get me wrong. But what happens when only the digits increase but the value remains static or worse, diminish over the years? Each time a raise is announced, Malaysians have to brace themselves against the increase of prices. Goods which used to be 50 cent may now reach a Ringgit. Wouldn’t it be the same as hoarding millions of worthless Banana Tree money of yesteryears?


27. The worst part of any price increase is that the prices will never go down. While older Malaysians reminisced about getting a comfortable meal at 20 sen, the younger Malaysians can only scoff at its absurdity. Now, you can’t even answer nature’s call in a clean environment for 20 sen. A premium toilet in some middle class shopping mall is easily 50 sen and even then, the level of expected hygiene is seriously questionable.


26. And when a price increase is announced by the government, one of the most pressing issues would be the petrol rates. Malaysians would flock to the petrol stations at midnight. There will be long queues of desperados trying to squeeze that last gallon of petrol at a cheaper price to last them a lifetime. To add insult, Malaysians will always be greeted with the ‘Petrol Subsidy sticker’ at the pump machine. We are constantly reminded on how much the ruling government spends on petrol subsidies. Why then is there no reminder on these 2 facts – we’re an oil producing country (hello, Petronas?) and even with subsidized rates, our petrol price still rates higher than most countries.


25. Even with petrol subsidies, Malaysians are too aware that there is no proper enforcement. No one is stopping foreigners from enjoying those rates as we are. Yet, no one can blame the foreigners since the petrol subsidy sticker is in Bahasa Melayu. Unless of course, we expect our Bahasa Melayu, like English, to be accepted as the world’s lingua franca.

EDUCATING MALAYSIANS

24. Laugh as we may but Malaysians too may not be able to understand the effect of the petrol subsidy sticker. Why? Because the society’s grasp of the English language itself has deteriorated tremendously. With certain quarters promoting Bahasa Melayu as the only language, what we have achieved in the colonial years had been left behind. Now, we have generations of young Malaysians who cannot string a perfect English sentence without stuttering here and there. Manglish is for fun but when that gets confused as the real English, Malaysians are in deep trouble.


23. The rapid decline of English in today’s Malaysian society is really writings on the wall. We are now products of a crumbling education system, one that has lost its sense of direction. As other countries are moving forward, we take giant strides to the time of ignorance. We used to have few established local universities, with one of them able to compete against Singapore’s NUS. That’s not the situation anymore. While Singapore stands for quality, we pushed for quantity. We have allowed the uncontrollable mushrooming of public and private universities at the expense of quality education.


22. Malaysian parents are now used to the idea that their children will come home with buckets of A’s with each major examination. Getting a B is no longer an option and ‘failure’ is unthinkable when everyone gets to enter universities. No one wants to stand up and question ‘What’s the value of an A nowadays’? Everyone wants to go on the ride and be fooled into thinking that their children are geniuses. Not many are willing to accept that perhaps, a D in the old A-Level system bears more weight than an A+ in today’s STPM. Reality is harsh so let’s dream on a little while longer.


21. These very geniuses will then be accepted into the many universities in Malaysia. As these young Malaysians have been made to believe that they can change the world, they see themselves not as clerks but Roosevelts. They don’t see themselves as medical assistants but Marie Curie, in the thick of action. They refuse to believe anything less than greatness. Graduation will come and they will each leave the stage with heads held high and shoulders burdened by accolades and perfect pointers.


20. It is only when they are confronted with the demands of working life that the mirror blasts itself into smithereens of broken dreams. What they hold in their hand as prized degrees have turned into worthless papers. Not many will be lucky as seen from the statistics. Malaysia’s high number of graduates is equally matched by those who failed to get their preferred course of employment or worst, remain unemployed. But don’t worry, not everyone will abandon these young Malaysians. After 6 months of desolation, the PTPTN will still seek you out for the loans that must be repaid, regardless whether you have a job or not.


19. Well, the rot starts from the root. Young school-going Malaysian children nowadays are also taught this. The school period is subject to the upcoming festive seasons. It will never be a fixed timetable for studying for sympathetic Education Ministers will readily amend the school holidays. If a 2-day public holiday is not enough, we’ll stretch it for a whole week so that some quarters can ‘balik kampung’. Why the desperate worry for studies not to be disrupted?


18. Fluidity (or lack of discipline) is also apparent from how easy it is to change our syllabus. What my younger cousins are studying for their History today is different than what I studied a decade ago. When I was a school student, our history started in year 1403 when Parameswara founded Malacca. Now, it seems that everything before Parameswara’s conversion into Islam had been conveniently blacked-out. I am guessing Malaysians do not know that once our history is lost, we would have no future at all.

SPORTS
17. Something must have gone awfully wrong in our preparation for international meets. Take the Harimau Muda for instance. Hearing their repute made me braved the crowd at Bukit Jalil for the friendly against Man City. I wanted to witness the re-emergence of the Harimau along the likes of the late Mokhtar Dahari and his peers. What I saw instead, was probably a cub being toyed around by the Blues.


16. With the recent Olympian feat by Datuk Lee Chong Wei, we are seeing more people taking up badminton. Kids are now playing badminton on the streets in equal number as football. But Datuk Lee’s time will soon come to an end and who’ll lead the challenge then? Even with the Sidek brothers, our last badminton glory as a nation was back in 1992. After that, it was as if Malaysia is no longer a respected contender. Could the last Thomas Cup be our swansong as Indonesia and other countries march to improve their game?


15. So desperate is the government for sporting heroes that those who won are handsomely rewarded. My respect and kudos goes to the first Malaysian female Olympian, Ms. Pandelela Rinong. Not only did she get lucrative sums and a scholarship, her win could also cause a man to lose his family jewels! Jokes aside, why are we not producing champions even with the money at stake? The recent London Olympics saw tiny nations making their mark in the medal tally. I’m sure that if we compare in terms of infrastructure, Malaysia is much better off. Yet, our best record is only 1 silver & 1 bronze.


14. Is it possible that our failure to produce more world-class champions stemmed from an inferiority complex? I watched the nail-biting match between Datuk Lee and Lin Dan the other day. While the match itself was tense, I found myself even more tensed by the comments by the local newscaster. After one great shot by Datuk Lee, this man had the nerve to comment “Itu dia. Kesombongan Lin Dan memakan diri” or something along those lines. The level of maturity displayed was most unbecoming. Especially since Lin Dan did emerge as the champion and Datuk Lee relegated to a painful deja-vu moment.

FOODS GALORE

13. If Malaysians can be described in one word, we are definitely ‘foodies’. No hunger pangs can remain unfulfilled when food is available 24/7. If the Brits have to make do with pubs once the shops close at 5 pm, Malaysians are luckier. Not enough with countless fast-food chains, we have what is uniquely Malaysian – the mamak bistros. You name it, they have it. From roti planta to tandoori to maggi goreng, they serve it even at the ungodliest hours.


12. With Malaysians, don’t try telling us that there is specific food for specific meal times. It’s not a case that one can only eat toasts for breakfast, meat for lunch, scones for tea and pasta for dinner. Malaysian stomachs are trained to accept anything that’s food. So, don’t be alarmed if you see a Malaysian youth having nasi lemak ayam berempah for dinner right before bedtime. It’s our culture.


11. Well, maybe having too much of good things will never be good. Just as we are notorious for being good eaters, I’m afraid Malaysians are also quite high up in the obesity ranking. Most of us eat but only a few will actually hit the gym to keep the expanding waistlines in check. With a high fondness for carbonated drinking, more and more Malaysian youths are overwhelming us with their rotund figures.


10. The recently concluded puasa month is a good example of how obsessed Malaysians are with food. Ramadhan is all about moderation and curbing your weaknesses for temptations, food included. Yet, you could only be amazed at the available buffet spreads and humongous bazaars to mark the end of every fasting day. Muslims (and non-Muslims) can be seen buying food on a daily basis as if they knew Armageddon will come the very next day. So much for resisting temptations.


9. It’s no different for Raya. There will be abundant delicacies on the table, enough for one to gain whatever weight that’s shed over the past 1 month. And if your own house runs out of food, don’t fret. There will always be open houses to attend to. One can be assured that the spread will not disappoint, particularly those hosted by politicians in the run-up to the next general election.

POLITICS
8. Since we’re talking about the next general election, that in itself is a mark of a true Malaysian. Everyone has been second-guessing as to when Ah Jib Kor will call for it. Popular belief is that it has to coincide with the school holidays. It’s not surprising since students need yet another break from studying, adults want to leave their offices for the thrill of voting and schools are perfect premises to store those suspicious extra ballot boxes for a convenient win here and there.


7. What marks a run-up to the general election is the naming process of candidates. While party leaders have yet to make official announcements (how could they? Since election date has yet to be determined), constituents are getting a feel as to who will be vying for their areas. Banners and buntings, some already displaying faces of potential candidates, are already up and hanging. Festive cards bearing the stamped signatures of incumbent ADUNS or Parliamentarian wannabes have made their rounds, enough to give citizens like us, not so- subtle clues.


6. Once every five years, Malaysians will be treated to displays of oratory skills. Some are undeniably better than the others. They can sell ice to the Eskimos and life insurance to the kamikaze fighters. The rest are not so good, leaving us to think, ‘Wallau-weh, is this the idiot we want to put in the august house?’. But then again, it doesn’t really matter though. Malaysian politics has never been praised for outstanding individuals. Rather, we’re more known for the party whip system where members follow the orders of their party and not the demands of the voters. So really, our painstaking effort in ensuring that the ‘X’ doesn’t go beyond the box, doesn’t really make a difference.


5. The bottom-line is this. It’s a myth that we can expect our politicians to follow Abe Lincoln’s words that it is the government by the people for the people. It’s reality that these YBs are where they are because they expect the normal tax-paying Malaysians to serve them. In short, we elect our own Napoleons. In that sense, we’re really dumber than the French. They had no choice when the real Napoleon Bonaparte seized power. For Malaysians, we literally hand over our lives and rights with a simple mark.


4. We don’t talk about Conservatives, Labour or Liberals. We don’t even care about Democrats and Republicans. For Malaysians, we only seemed to know the Alliance or later as it is popularly known, Barisan Nasional. Quite recently, we came to know of another brand, still in its infancy, Pakatan Rakyat. In fact, it has been drummed into our heads that without BN, the four riders of Apocalypse may just come and destroy our beloved country. So much so that many are left confused, not able to distinguish that BN is just a political party and not the country itself. Politicians as well as governments come and go. Only the country remains, that is, if she can still withstand the long-term damage.


3. With Pakatan Rakyat’s convincing win in the last GE, BN saw its grip on several states weakened. This is an important facet to the local political scenario where states and federal government work hand in hand. BN may have oppressed Kelantan by cutting its deserving funds once the state was won by the Islamic Party of Malaysia (PAS). Yet, same trick cannot work twice. Pakatan Rakyat’s successes in Selangor (an important stronghold considering the volume of taxes paid) foiled BN’s plans of returning. In fact, BN’s tricks may just push the undecided voters in the opposite direction.


2. Malaysians have seen 6 Prime Ministers over the country’s 54 years of existence. Current generation of Malaysians may only know the latter 3. But it’s the current one (and many suspect would be the last from the ruling party based on the R-A-H-M-A-N belief) which we came to be reminded how powerful a woman can be. Wives of previous PM, despite their own personal achievements, have never made their mark save for being ‘the PM’s wife’. Now, Malaysians regularly get confused between the rightful Queen and one who is wrongfully addressed as the ‘First Lady’. So influential is she that she gets to do, among others, co-deliver Raya message to the public while the Queen remains silent.


1. And we’re finally at the number 1 spot on what makes us Malaysians. The ruling government’s theme in celebrating our 55th anniversary is ’55 tahun Janji Ditepati’. For the life of me, I do not know what promises they have fulfilled. I suspect, most of you don’t know either. Unless of course, they promised the colonial leaders back in 1956 that once independence is achieved, they’ll drain the country dry in every possible aspect. If that’s the case, then nothing could be more ‘Cemerlang, Gemilang, Terbilang’ than that. Another bonus point is that every destruction is completed or almost complete before ‘Wawasan 2020’! So what really makes us Malaysians? Our gullibility. We believed them for 55 years. It is time for a change. Otherwise, there may not be a ‘Malaysia’ in existence regardless how often ‘Salam 1 Malaysia’ is uttered.



This has been a bumper edition, even by my standard. Nevertheless, Selamat Menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan ke-55 to each and every Malaysian. Let the parades go on (and I'll revel in extra hours of sleep in my comfortable bed on Friday!).

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Between the Innocence & Experience

Recently, I tried to get in touch with my former STPM English Literature tutor. Since we parted ways in 2002 (I know this would be the give-away as to my age if one does the maths), I knew she has obtained her Ph. D and I've progressed to working life after 4 years of reading law. Somehow, I managed to obtain her mobile number and we exchanged a few sms-es, words that reflected the strength of memory against passing years. Regrettably, our face-to-face meet remains elusive until today. But if I do get to meet her, my wish would be to discuss again over cakes and coffee, William Blake's Songs of Innocence & Experience.

You see, the me in 2002 couldn't understand what was the deal in studying William Blake's words. I aced my Literature paper for sure but that was that. When I was still a student, Blake's poetry was merely a component in the STPM syllabus together with Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, Austen's Emma and a few other short stories. But with each passing year of adulthood, I begin to belatedly realise the impact of Blake's observations on what separates the dreams and reality of life. And with the ongoing Raya celebrations, never did I feel more keenly, that I may have just stepped over the threshold of youthful innocence and straight into the jaded embrace of experience.

It is a pity considering that I used to like the idea of Raya, very much. After a month of fasting, who could fail to look forward to a month of mouth-watering food? And with generous relatives readily parting way with packets of money over a small forehead to hand gesture, nothing could beat that equation. Even when I stopped 'receiving' and became a 'giver' despite my unchanged personal status, I still had no complains. But that Syawal enjoyment for this year seemed to have completely evaporated. In its place came this sense of frustration that the ties that bind us together, may have been too tight until it reaches a point of strangulation. Well, this is how I felt, lest some quarters feel offended.

Today being the 7th day of Raya, I must make this observation. As what I've shared with my sisters who are (fortunately for them) abroad, Raya has lost its joys. The going-arounds I enjoyed as a kid has lost its appeal and is now, a form of stress. Despite Raya being one whole month, it seems that everyone make it their business to visit and be visited within the first few days of Raya. My Mum will definitely not appreciate this coming from her daughter but I find it extremely vexing. Where my maternal relatives are concerned, it is seriously nothing but a game of 'Musical House'! You'll see the same people congregating together from one house to another. And if that's not enough, there's even cases of visiting the same houses, again and again. Perhaps my relatives are a tad too generous but seriously, to revisit the same house(s) just because the host is now preparing a different dish than what was served on the first day of Raya? Sigh.

That's not all. For this year, there was also the planned 3d-2n get-away for my maternal family members in Cameron Highlands. From the 4th to 6th day of Raya, I was under the same roof with each of Mom's siblings and their respective family members. Add a grand-aunty, a second cousin and my uncle's in-laws, there were 28 of us in a colonial bungalow with a sprawling compound. Don't get me wrong, I actually enjoyed the get-away and the cool weather helped tremendously. But the irony was that these 28 people are the same company in whose presence I spent the first 3 days of Raya! Yet, everyone makes it a big deal for their houses to be visited in those preceding 3 days. Woe betide if I fail to make those visits or refuse to eat what has been served in each of those houses. If only you could imagine that I visit at least 3 houses a day and each host expects guests to devour their food as if it's the last meal on earth... People call it fulfilling one's social obligations. I call it an unwarranted absurdity.

I know it's Raya and Syawal's all about strengthening the family ties but I'm left to wonder. Is an individual's sanity not important enough? This question looms in the face as the long Raya break comes to an end tomorrow. With work that can only be described as stressful, I need my weekend breaks more than ever. I need the weekends to just chill at home in peace without fearing that my tv-bonding time will change into kitchen duty. And yet, I don't see that the coming weekends will be mine. With relatives' weddings filling the weekend's diaries and more Raya visits to do and expect (which is not surprising considering that we've only started with Dad's relatives today), I only hope Syawal ends fast. At least, that's when the chaos will subside and calm re-appears.

p/s: I recently turned a year older but even that was a not a cause for celebration. After all, what's another jaded year of sarcasm and cynicism? Hmm...Alphaville's Forever Young on repeat is infinitely appealing.




Friday, August 17, 2012

My Return

Officially, I still have another 1 hour on the clock before the long festive weekend sets in. As the clock ticks away, I’ve already consciously decided to ignore my work (yet another draft submission. We can never have enough of those, don’t’ we?) and chose instead, to type this post. This would be, after all, my first post since leaving my blog in self-induced coma back in October 2011. So yes, I unashamedly welcome myself back to the blogging world despite having almost a year gone without any written trace (I don’t know, would my countless status updates on Facebook count as any form of record? Unlike my long winded blog entries, the Wall limits my ramblings to few lines of wisdom).

With a steady stream of sms-es flooding my phone (I’ve gotten myself an iPhone, by the way. It may be a smart-phone but it is fondly referred to by my sisters as the ‘I(ce age)Phone’ because the owner is an absolute dinosaur with techno gadgets), those few Raya cards that came and made me wonder, “Wow, there is still Pos Malaysia for these people” and colourful electronic online cards spamming my e-mail before being chucked in the ‘Trash Can’ icon, I thought it is now a good time to resume blogging.

Just like previous Ramadhans, there were always the buka puasa dos to write about. But for this particular Ramadhan, I think I had more breaking of fast at home with my parents than walking down some glitzy buffet lines promoting displays of gluttony. Yet, I was not exactly a total recluse. I did enjoy myself eating out although I suspect that for buffets, one needs to have a strategy. From my own experience, one must always try to attend buffets during the first week of puasa and not the last few days. Once the stomach has shrunk, you can never really eat as much as you like. So in all honesty, you’re paying a high price just to stare at the food. Anyway, during those few buka puasa meets outside, I did have the chance to catch up with various groups of friends and each was entertaining in their own way. I believe we may not have managed to arrange for such meets if not for the fact that puasa is only for 1 month. So we had to find the time or risk another year passing by!

Clothes-wise, it’s always an accepted norm of wearing a new outfit for each of the first 3 days. And seeing that my mum and I were on trips to Bandung early this year, I’d like to think my clothes this year would be slightly more elaborate. But I shall speak no more as they are still with the tailor and I don’t want any jinx to rear its head! I’ll try to post pictures once I’m done stuffing my face with the must-have dishes. Which by then, would render those customized clothes as wrapping paper for bloated packages.

One can never write about Raya without touching on the cookies and delicacies. Well, I’m proud to say that my mum and I have not prepared anything yet. We did buy few bottles of cookies from trusted sources but that’s that. For our actual homemade cookies, its debut will probably be at the earliest, a week after Raya. Teehee~~ We have time on our side since we’ll be away for the first week of Raya this year J I’ll write about this in my next entry *crosses fingers as promises are always broken*

And what has become the most important aspect of Raya, at least where kids are concerned, is the duit raya. Last year, I completely forgot to change money and had to resort to giving old (tattered, bruised and some were even discoloured) notes to my nieces and nephews. To be fair, they didn’t complain (these kids must have worked with the Central Bank in previous lives or something. As long as they see the ‘right’ colour, they’ll accept the currencies as legal) but that was pretty embarrassing. I was almost tempted to give them IOU notes instead, the ones that say ‘Bearer of this IOU is entitled to collect RMx before the stipulated deadline. Otherwise, offer is deemed to have lapsed and no complaints/refunds will be entertained’. Well, not this year. Gotten a relative’s help to procure those colourful monopoly-like notes (other Malaysians call them our new legal currencies) for distribution. I have to find time to draw up a list though and list down the appropriate amount next to each name. Kinda like Santa. And yes, stuffing them into those colourful raya packets before writing down the recipients’ names. By the way, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I am slightly neurotic when it comes to these things.

Wow, the work day is coming to an end in a matter of minutes. I think that’s a cue for me to take my leave and pack up to join the homeward-bound exodus. Before I sign off, I wish everyone (especially my two sisters who are abroad and close friends) ‘Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri’ and Happy Holidays!

p/s: It is my personal choice not to ask for or offer forgiveness just because it’s Raya. I find much difficulty in trying to swallow the hypocrisy behind this once-a-year ‘Maaf Zahir & Batin’. But rest assured, if I’ve found in myself the strength to forgive those who’ve wronged me in any manner, I would have done so even without Raya.