On my own

Living on my own forces me to wade through unfamiliar waters.

 

What used to be the whole bulk of my monthly income (after all the dastardly deductions have been made) solely at my disposal is now compartmentalised into rental, utilities, groceries, petrol and meagre savings. Previously, I would only think of the things I can buy with my income. Now, I worry more about the mandatory expenses rather than getting that new pair of shoes. From 'pick and pay', I became a 'look and consider'. A window shopping trip nowadays will be just that, a trip on a weekend to see what's hanging in the dressing windows. Few hours later (after I've burnt enough calories from the sheer frustration of walking around like a headless chicken), I'll return to my minute home with bare hands. No more of those big, bulging paper bags for me to gleefully toss around.

 

Thanks to existing credit card bills which never seem to go down to zero, everything now also comes with a  'pretty but do I need it?' tag. While this self-restraint flies out of the window whenever I'm back in KL (I'm pretty sure they have powerful shamans casting spells over the buyers), I'm very much guarded when in Penang. So much so that I'm now more comfortable with telling the saleslady 'I'm just browsing' instead of 'Do you have it in my size?'. Perhaps my current address has some sort of influence over this change in behaviour. My two room flat is big enough for an individual occupant but I know some of my neighbours live in the same amount of space with at least 3 or 4 other people. What I call as my temporary sleeping arrangement is a cramped home to many of them, most who get along by walking, riding the public buses or relying on their trusty motorcycles.  

 

Despite my small home, I began to be more aware of how much electricity I consume or how much water I waste. Every flick of the switch or the turn of the tap is a reminder that I've to pay for what I use. Though the bills for October have not reached my doorstep (yet), I'm trying hard, very hard, to save where I can. Often than not, a single kitchen light will work for me to cook & watch television when daylight disappears. While my living room is air-conditioned (as like my bedroom), the standing fan provides more than comfortable relief. Luckily Penang seems to rain often so the heat is still bearable, even without the air-conditioner.

 

While I'm pursuing this personal challenge (to live as moderately as possible), it becomes a stinging mockery to discover that some family has been using up to RM2.3 million of people's money to fund their utilities bills! Apparently, the same mouth that states the need to cut subsidies for citizens (for strange reasons like preventing diabetes. Clearly, our intelligence is severely undermined by this grossly-misleading justification) is not tied to the same body that enjoys 2.3 million worth of free electricity, water and God knows what else. When I think about how many of us will not even see 2.3 million in this lifetime, it's preposterous to think that for a few, this amount merely covers their yearly utilities.

 

It's ironic. Thieves and robbers are put behind bars for stealing. Those who waste the citizens' money fly in private planes and sleep in gilded comfort. What's the difference between these two groups of men?