Our expectations

I went out with my colleagues for lunch today at Wisma UOA along Jalan Dungun. Somehow, we have lost touch with UOA's foodcourt which is rather amazing because seriously, the lack of choices in our area means every available foodcourt is like an oasis in the desert!

Anyway, one of the stalls there sells great mutton curry. I fell in love from the first bite and since then, every visit to UOA's foodcourt must necessarily mean a generous helping of mutton with rice. Because of that fact alone (and what I suspect is YPN's liking of the dish as well), the three of us trudged uphill under the hot sun to get to UOA.

I immediately made a beeline to the stall while YPN found a table for us. To my utter dismay, there was no mutton dish. When asked about the 'missing' mutton, the stall keeper smiled apologetically and said 'Sorry Miss. Mutton is very expensive nowadays'. With that one sentence, my heart was crushed and I had to settle for a piece of fried chicken. I had originally planned to eat the mutton dish as a 'farewell' because my firm would be moving office soon. What I didn't expect was the mutton dish saying goodbye first.

Like our other lunch sessions (and those notoriously long tea sessions), we would chat about everything that crosses our minds (twisted at times) as a way to unwind. And today was no different. It started with religion but somehow, it got derailed when YPN asked MAO and myself of what we expect from a marriage (or more importantly, the partner concerned).

Hmmm...interesting question indeed.

MAO started the ball rolling by answering in his typical style, the following. According to MAO (and not Jim), his intended should, among others -

(a) not nag. He wants a peace of mind when he reaches home;

(b) have a little bit of trust in him.

Then YPN directed the question to me. I think I almost choked on my chicken because obviously, the happy event will not be happening anytime soon for me. And while I do have certain expectations of my other half (which has yet to be located at the moment. He must have gotten lost in the wilderness), I somehow could not translate it into words.
It is easy to say what I want (or expect or worst, demand) from my other half but I alone do not make a marriage. From what I've seen so far, it's so much easier to think rationally now with your head before everything gets convoluted the moment the heart starts to reach out.

We have our expectations of what we want from from our half or what we should be when we're married. Though unspoken at most times, I do not think it's wrong to assume that everyone wants a happy marriage with someone they love. Everyone wants a happy home with splendid children. Everyone hopes for a 'happily ever after' deep down in their hearts. Yet, we often forget that expectations are really, a double sided coin. We could be deliriously happy when our expectations are met. Conversely, we could be woefully sad when circumstances or the person we love fail to meet the threshold.

Expectations are most definitely a two-way street. Just as we expect of others, others may also expect from us. The only difference lies in the degree of expectation. Some aim for the sky, looking for a God-like partner who's perfect in every possible way. Some are contend merely to settle down with a bad apple just so that they won't be seen or called as 'unwanted leftovers'.

Whichever way you look at it, expectations do contribute to our colourful existence as humans. And when our expectations fail, seek solace that perhaps, it was the wrong thing for you in the first place. Haha, well that is how sourgrapes would console themselves!

Since I was talking about marriage and expectations (which would necessarily involve the husband and wife), I'll sign off this entry with my sister's all-time favourite quote -

"The man is the head of the family. But the wife is the neck and the neck may turn the head anyway it wants the head to be!" (taken from My Big Fat Greek Wedding)